that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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