Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
