used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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