STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
