so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
