Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
