Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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