He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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