Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
