Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
