I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
