Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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