In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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