HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm always down for nudity.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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