Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize