I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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