But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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