what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
