it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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