When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize