Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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