Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
