bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
