There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I won't apologize to a one balled man
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
