So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
