i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
