grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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