ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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