Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
