I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
