last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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