come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
