i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
