Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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