She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
