I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize