so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
