Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
