so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
