There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
