I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
