Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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