Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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