marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
