she woke up with a sticky ear
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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