I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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