I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
