sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
