ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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