And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize