Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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