It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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