He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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