so explain again why im purple
no
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
