we're blogging at a bar
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
