meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
