i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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