I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
