He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Randomize