i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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