your room smells of hookers.
And success
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
