But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm eating all of the evidence.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
