She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
