It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
