yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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