It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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