At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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