I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
