Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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